Is there something you want to change with you or your life?
Maybe you want to be more successful, wealthier, confident, have better relationships, a more fulfilling job, more free time, and be happy?
Whatever it is here is the truth about transformational change.
You don’t need to learn and apply the latest magical tool or technique that is guaranteed to get you results quicker than anything else.
You don’t need to control your thoughts or think positively.
Or try to manage and control your emotions.
Nor do you have to save the world, work relentlessly, earn millions, or work out every day.
Hell, you don’t even need to meditate, be mindful, keep a gratitude journal or write daily about your feelings.
Don’t get me wrong they do help, but they are not a requirement for transformational change.
You don’t need any of that for transformation change in your life.
What you need is;
- A sense of a higher purpose to your life.
- To be involved in something that helps or serves others.
- Develop kindness and compassion for yourself and others.
- To understand where your experience is coming from
- Have support around you and access to a tribe.
- Develop an open, loving and compassionate personality.
None of this requires you to spend any money, buy any books, attend any workshop or follow any guru.
Here is what works for me
This isn’t ‘how-to guide’ because they don’t work.
If you could be successful by copying the seven habits of highly successful people, don’t you think you would have done it by now?
Nobody can show you the ‘secret to change’ because there isn’t one.
Happiness and fulfillment come from within, and you are the only person who knows what you need to do to find it.
Here is what works for me, and if it resonates with you, then it might help you as well.
A sense of a higher purpose to your life
It helps me to remind myself daily that I’m part of something bigger than myself.
That whatever this universe is, whatever life is, whatever is happening right now I’m part of it.
I’m not separate from the universe I’m an expression of it in the moment.
And there is an intelligence behind it all that makes it work.
It isn’t planning things out, judging you, or controlling you.
But life works and takes care of itself.
Cuts heal, acorn seeds become Oak trees and life begets life.
I’m part of that, and it gives me access to a more meaningful sense of myself.
Being involved in serving or helping others
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to help others.
But the jobs and professions I chose were never up close and personal when it came to helping others.
The closer I am to helping a real-life person, the happier I am, coaching is my purpose.
But it can be as simple as volunteering your time, being a mentor, hosting a podcast, or spending time listening to others.
Don’t overthink it, go out and start helping and serving others in a way that makes sense to you.
Develop kindness and compassion for yourself
OK, I lied if there is a secret ingredient, then this is it.
It’s the glue that binds it together, without it everything else falls apart.
But it is just the secret ingredient not the whole recipe.
Compassion helps you remember that you are a human being, not a perfect being.
Sometimes I want to hide and run away; sometimes I’m lazy, sometimes I don’t exercise, or eat healthily, sometimes I’m angry, depressed, judgemental, full of self-doubt, I avoid my emotions, blame others and turn up in a host of ways I don’t want to.
That’s all OK and there is nothing wrong with that.
Be honest about the things you struggle with then be kind to yourself about those struggles.
You’re only ever doing the best job you can with the thinking you have available to you right now.
Give yourself a break.
Understand where your experience is coming from
Your experience of life isn’t coming from your life circumstances, your job, your partner, or your past.
Your experience comes from feeling your thinking in the moment.
If your thinking is fearful, anxious, resentful, insecure, then what shows up in your experience will be a reflection of that thinking.
You’ll see life through that thinking.
And there is nothing inherently wrong with that.
Sometimes you are in your thinking, and that thinking feels very real to you.
If you understand that your experience comes from your thinking, then you can see that there is a lot of thinking that you don’t need to have or do anything with.
Thoughts are an illusion and not real, and many times our problems, concerns and worries turn out to be thought created and disappear when we take a close look at them.
We only work from the inside out not from the outside in.
Your experience is coming from you and your thinking not from the world.
Have support around you and access to a tribe
Feeling part of a group of like-minded people, having access to mentors, coaches or people that have changed and overcome situations similar to yours helps enormously.
Not because you need to follow anyone or imitate others.
Nor can anyone else give you the answers you seek as you already have them.
But it’s good to have people around you that lift you up, remind you that your human, keep you on track and give you honest feedback.
Depending on where you are, you might need a guide, coach or mentor from time-to-time to support and help you through the sticky bits.
However, none of this has to be expensive, and a lot of it can be found for free.
Develop an open, loving and compassionate personality
Your relationship with yourself is the key ingredient to developing an open, loving and compassionate personality.
You can cultivate a kind and compassionate personality by investing in self-love and loving yourself.
It’s a natural progression from being kind and compassionate with yourself.
But you can help this along by dropping the judgement about yourself and others.
Both good and bad.
Limitations happen when you judge something.
Being non-judgemental and seeing everything as it is without wanting it to be different helps remove a lot of fear and anger from your life.
And love can’t exist when fear is present.
You don’t need an overpriced mastermind, intensive, or an immersion course in an exotic location to realise any of this.
Yes, the truth is that it might be challenging, disruptive and painful to cultivate and work on everything above.
You’re going to have days, weeks, or even months where you don’t feel like you are making progress.
You might sometimes need one-to-one support, use techniques like meditation, and have to push through resistance to take up new behaviours.
But what you need is a willingness to change, to be honest about your struggles, and a whole lot of self-love.
And the truth is none of this can be found in the latest personal development fad.
You have everything you need, love, peace, and resilience all within.
Happiness comes from within and stems from the relationship you build with yourself.
Get to work, trust yourself and smile more.
Join Gary on a journey to self-love
Gary will be exploring how you become more open, loving and accepting of yourself with Gary’s ‘Journey to self-love’ programme at the Brussels Yoga Loft.
You get 12 hours of instruction over six weeks as you look at how you can fall in love with yourself and fall in love with life.
The programme combines, Yoga, meditation and a teaching of the three principles and how they apply to developing a better relationship with yourself.
By the end of the 12 hours, you’ll have all the knowledge and tools you need to radically change your relationship with yourself and change your life.
Learn more and sign up here.